Shattered Dreams
by yuki obsidian
Summary: Hiroshi's become depressed because of Shuichi's relationship with Yuki. Can a certain gunman help him out? KxH, YxS, HxS (one sided) CHAPTER 4 UPLOADED!
1. Nothing Left To Hang On To

Shattered Dreams Chapter 1: Nothing Left To Hang On To By: Yuki Obsidian  
  
I don't own any of the characters, I'm just borrowing them for my own amusement. There will be yaoi later on, but since this is Gravitation, it's expected.  
  
My dream was over.  
  
That one person that I held so close and dear to my heart, gone with another, just like that.  
  
I tried not to let it get to me. I told myself countless times that it would never last and that when his heart was broken, I'd be there to mend the pieces back together. But, it never happened. As much as I hated to admit it, my best friend had found that one person just right for him... his lover... his soulmate.  
  
And me? Well, let's just say that I haven't been the same since.  
  
I'm laying on my bed now, arm draped over my eyes and music blaring from the speakers of my stereo. Don't ask what song was playing, because I'm not even sure myself. The cigarette I lit 15 minutes ago lays untouched in the ashtray, slowly becoming just a pile of ashes. How appropriate. That's exactly what's happening to me now.  
  
Even though I never meant for it to happen, I'm making myself sick over this whole situation. I haven't eaten in days, because everything that I do eat, just seems to come right back up...  
  
How could Shuichi do this to me? Leave me to become the shadow of my former self. I know you never meant to. We've been best friends since high school and you've always been a little... well, maybe very naive. There's no way you could have known about the feelings I have for you. We used to always joke that we were lovers, because that's what everyone thought about us. We both knew otherwise though. We were friends, bandmates, compantions, but never lovers. I wish we were but... it will never happen. You have Yuki now and even though he used to act like a complete bastard to you, he's changed and it's obvious how much he really does care for you. I can tell by the way he looks at you when he doens't think anyone is watching. I'm not sure how to describe it... it's like, a deep admiration and happiness. Yuki is really and truly happy with you, Shuichi, and I'm sorry that I never realized it until now.  
  
The CD has ended and now the room is completely silent. There's nothing for me to do. I missed practice a couple of hours ago and I just know Sakano-san will have my head for it. I'll hear all about it tomorrow, if I decide to even show up that is. I know I should, since we have a concert in a week, but it really kills me to see Shuichi right now and to be honest, I don't think I have the strength to get there.  
  
I never knew a broken heart could hurt so much...  
  
I never knew how drastically it could change me...  
  
Me... Hiroshi Nakano.  
  
To Be Continued... 


	2. I'll Be There, Whether You Want It Or No...

Chapter 2: I'll Be There, Whether You Want It Or Not  
  
"It's not like Hiroshi-kun to be this late. I wonder where he is?" Suguru asked, automatically looking in my direction.  
  
I shrugged non-chanteningly. How as I supposed to know where Hiroshi was? It's not like I kept tabs on all my talents, but Suguru did have a point, it wasn't like Hiroshi to be so late. He always made sure to call if he was going to be late, something had to be up.  
  
"What do you mean Hiroshi isn't here?!? We have a concert in less then a week and our guitarist suddenly disappears?!? I told him not to drive that motorcycle! It was an accident waiting to happen!" Sakano exclaimed, nearly tearing out all his hair as he yelled. Seriously, that man just seemed too uptight for the music business. He always took things way out of proportion.  
  
So, I did what I usually do when Sakano overreacts. I pulled out my handgun and pressed the butt of it against his temple, clicking the safety off so he knew I was ready to drive a bullet right through his skull if he gave me a reason to.  
  
"Uhh... well, uhh...," Sakano stammered, causing a smirk to twinge at the end of my lips. "I guess since it seems Hiroshi won't be coming, we'll just work twice as hard tomorrow, right Mr.K?"  
  
I nod as I lower the gun from the older man's temple and put it back in its holder. There ws really no point in holding a practice when not all the members were in the mood for it. Hiroshi was a no show, Shuichi was taking a nap (probably had too much fun with Yuki the night before), and Suguru seemed too worried about Hiroshi to be able to concentrate.  
  
"That's right. So everyone be hear bright and early tomorrow morning and try to get some rest tonight," I said, looking in Shuichi's direction. He doesn't hear me though, since he's still fast asleep, head resting on the table as a bubble goes in and out of his nose. I groaned and went over, popping the nose bubble before grabbing a fist full of the pinkette's hair and lifting him so I could see him better.  
  
"Go home, Shuichi," I told him before letting go of his hair. He fell back to the table, hitting his nose in the process which caused him to whine and complain. I rolled my eyes. I really had no time for this, I needed to check up on our missing link. So, I told Sakano to take care of things, make sure the guys got out safely and the studio was clean before I went down to get my car.  
  
Now, one thing that I really do love is my car. It's a sky blue convertible with a black, leather interior. It runs like a charm and can go 250 km/h. (not that I'd know first hand ¬_¬) When the roof is down, there's always a nice breeze that runs through my hair. It's usually pretty bad if there's someone sitting behind me because they usually end up with a mouthful of my hair.  
  
Since it's still afternoon, I put on my sunglasses before heading out. I vaguely remember where Hiro lives, since I dropped him off once after his motorcycle died. It was a pretty nice place, from the outside that is. Now, if I could only remember which room was his...  
  
After a few -completely- accidental walk-ins, I found the apartment I was looking for. Who would have known that Hiroshi's family name would have been on the door?  
  
It was dark inside, but I could see the form of a figure laying on the bed. Maybe he was asleep, if he was, it would be a real shame to wake him but he deserved it for not showing up for practice and making me worry! Wait a sec... what am I thinking? I wasn't worried, not for a second! I was just... concerned. Yes, concerned for him. Who am I trying to fool? Being concerned is the same as being worried and Hiroshi was going to pay for making me feel this way.  
  
So, for the second time that day, I pulled out my gun and made my way closer to the bed. I was a little surprised that Hiroshi hadn't heard me yet, since I wasn't exactly being quiet or anything, but I thought nothing of it. He was probably still asleep after all.  
  
"Nakano Hiroshi! You have alot of explaining to do!" I exclaimed as I pressed the butt of the gun to the back of his head.  
  
The red head slowly rolled on to his back, almost oblivious to the gun which moved to the side of his head. He opened his dark grey eyes and looked up at me. It was like he wasn't even there, like his soul had been taken away from him...  
  
I unconsciously took a step back and lowered my gun. What had happened to him? Why was he looking like this. It looked like he hadn't bathed in days. His usually dark red hair looked almost black now and lay limply on his head in greasy clumps. His clothes were wrinkled and seemed to stick to him and I could have sworn that he lost some weight.  
  
"Hiroshi-kun...," I said quietly as I sat down on the bed, cringing a bit as I sank down into the unclean sheets. "What's up? Why weren't you at practice? Feelin' a little under the weather?"  
  
Hiroshi didn't respond to me right away, in fact, he seemed to look past me, as if he were trying to come up with some thing to say. After a minute, he looked back up at me, his eyes a little more clearer then before.  
  
"I guess you could say that," he said quietly, before avoiding my gaze once again.  
  
I hnn'ed softly, knowing that there was more to this but I really didn't want to pry it out of him. I was his manager and even though I'm supposed to be concerned about my musicians, I wasn't supposed to butt into their personal lives. Still, I couldn't help but worry about Hiro. Whatever happened to him must have been big. I've never seen him act like this before, it was actually starting to scare me.  
  
"Up on your feet Hiro-kun," I said as I put my gun back in its spot and got to my feet.  
  
Hiroshi looked up at me hesistantly, as if debating whether to listen to me or not, before he sat up and swung his legs off the bed. He stayed like that for a moment before finally getting to his feet. He swaggered a bit before he fell forwards and I caught him in my arms. I didn't notice it, but my breathing quickened as I stood Hiroshi back on his feet, keeping my arms around his waist to keep him steady. He just seemed so weak...  
  
"When was the last time you ate, Hiro-kun?" I asked.  
  
"I-I don't know," he admitted, not even trying to pull out of my hold.  
  
"Okay, we'll get some food into you but first things first, let's get you cleaned up," I said as I started pulling him towards the bathroom.  
  
"What do you mean? You're going to give me a bath?" he asked, and I noticed a faint blush appear over the bridge of his nose. How cute...  
  
"Of course. I wouldn't want you to pass out and drown in the bathtub. That's a horrible way to die!" I smirked as I made him sit down on the toiler so I could begin running the bath water. "Anyways, we're both guys so it's not like you have anything that I haven't seen before."  
  
Hiroshi was pretty silent as I filled the bathtub up with warm water and bubbles, then searched through the cupboards for towels and some wash cloths. I knew that a nice bath would be able to work wonders on him, they always did for me.  
  
"You don't expect to take a bath in your clothes do ya?" I asked as I turned the water off and set the towels aside. "Or do you need some help getting them off?"  
  
I couldn't help but smile as Hiroshi stuttered, blushed then shook his head no. He was really adorable when embarassed... I'd have to try and catch him off guard more often. As the red head began to undress, so did I. Like I had told him before, it's not like either of us had something that the other didn't, plus I though he might need some help in the tub and some added support. Not to mention I -really- wanted to wash that long, gorgeous hair of his, make it all silky and shiny again.  
  
What?!? Where did -that- come from? Gorgeous hair? I've only thought that about my own golden locks before... why am I thinking the same about Hiro-kun?  
  
"K-san?" Hiro spoke up, and I looked over at him, instantly forgetting what I was just thinking about. The nineteen year old was simply breath-taking. Every inch of his tan body seemed so warm, smooth and... perfect. I just never noticed it before because unlike Shuichi, he liked to remain covered up during concerts. My God though! I wonder if there was a way that I could convince him to show a little more skin...?  
  
"K-san!" Hiro repeated, sounding a little irritated this time.  
  
"Yeah? What is it?"  
  
"I'm ready now..."  
  
I nodded and went over to him, wrapping my arm around his waist once again to keep him steady as I brought him over to the bathtub. I helped him get in and settled then started taking my own clothes off again.  
  
I noticed the look he gave me, his eyebrow arched and his lips pursed as he watched me undress. I smiled again at him.  
  
"What? Unlike you, I've been working all day and could use a little bathtime, even if it is with you."  
  
He looked away again, the blush reappearing as he muttered an 'I'm sorry'.  
  
"Forget about it. Just scooch up a bit, Hiro-kun so I can slide in behind you."  
  
Hiroshi did as I told him to, and withing a few moments we were in the tub together, the red head sitting between my legs. He seemed tensed up though, he was probably still embarassed by this whole situation. Oh well! He'd just have to live with it!  
  
Before I had settled in the tub, I had unhooked the shower hose so I could wash Hiro's hair and I turned it on then, making sure to get his hair nice and wet. Once I was sure it was damp enough, I began running my fingers though it, gently coaxing out any tangles that had made their home in it over the past few days. As I worked at restoring Hiro's hair to the way it used to be, I talked softly to him, just about anything that came to mind and he started relaxing. I didn't really notice it until I started working the shampoo into his hair and he closed his eyes and tipped his head back. Then I heard a soft, almost purring, sound coming from him and I knew that I had already started him on the road to recovery.  
  
Hopefully I'd be able to keep him on that road...  
  
  
  
To Be Continued... 


	3. New Feelings Appear, Old Ones Return

Chapter 3: New Feelings Appear, Old Ones Return  
  
I wasn't sure what to think. Here I was, in the bathtub with my agent right behind me. His hands ran through my hair, working up a good lather with the shampoo. I wasn't really listening to what he had to say, but I did catch bits and pieces of the one sided conversation. There were some things about Sakano-san throwing another fit when the pop machine ate his yen and didn't give him a drink in return. There was also something about Tohma-san losing his favourite black hat and then finding out that Ryuuchi had swiped it because Kumogaro needed to cover his head from the sun.  
  
But like I said, I wasn't really listening because the feeling of K's fingertips gently massaging my scalp was just too much. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, as I started to purr softly. Of course, if I had known that I was purring, I would have stopped immediately because I didn't want K-san to get the wrong idea...  
  
"Time to rinse," K-san suddenly said as he turned the shower hose back on and began to rinse the bubbles from my hair. After a couple of minutes, his fingers began running through my hair again, gently coaxing out any stray bubbles until he seemed satisfied.  
  
The conditioner came next, and since it's best to let that stuff stay in for a couple of minutes, K-san began to wash my back while he waited.  
  
God! This was just not right. I knew that. I'm 19, he's in his late twenties, early thirties and he was giving me a bath. I guess... well, it -was- just a bath but it felt so strange. Not the way he was washing me, so precisely and carefully, but I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach. It felt just like when the band is about to go on stage. That happy nervous feeling. But, why would I be feeling that now? The concert wasn't for another week and it wasn't even on my mind until now, so what could it be...?  
  
"Rub a dub dub, one Hiro in the tub!"  
  
"Nani-ka?" I lifted my head, looking over my shoulder at K-san who just smiled and shrugged innocently. I could feel myself begin to blush, so I quickly faced the front again.  
  
I could hear him chuckle lightly as he finished rinsing the conditioner from my hair, leaving it smooth and silky.  
  
"Ya know Hiro-kun, you look really cute when your hair's wet..."  
  
Did I just hear what I thought I heard? K-san said I was cute... but what did he mean by that? Cute as in fluffy pink bunnies and baby chicks? Or maybe I was just acting cute? But, I didn't even do anything! Just like Shuichi hadn't...  
  
It was a few days ago, the day before I locked shut in my apartment and didn't come out for anything or anyone...  
  
Shuichi and I were at the park, just hanging out like we always did when neither of us had anything better to do. We were sitting underneath a large sakura tree and the wind was causing some of the blossoms to fall off, gently floating to the ground. Shuichi was busy trying to catch them, telling me that he wanted to bring them home with him because maybe Yuki would like them.  
  
That name! After all that bastard put my best friend through, I still don't know how they ever made it this far.  
  
"Hiro?"  
  
I remember looking over at him and how time seemed to stop. He looked so amazing... wait, not amazing but beautiful. Everything about him seemed so perfect. The way his blue eyes twinkled happily, how the wind blew his unnaturally pink hair, causing sakura blossoms to float by him. And that smile... he was so perfect and I couldn't resist...  
  
My lips pressed against his but there was no reaction, no spark, no bright fireworks to prove that this was love, just a pair of hands pressing against my chest and pushing me away...  
  
"Hiro...?"  
  
I'm sorry Shuichi... I never meant for this to happen...  
  
"I hafta go now. Yuki will be home soon and..."  
  
Just go.  
  
"Ja ne, Hiro..."  
  
Good-bye Shuichi  
  
~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~  
  
K-san... it almost worked. You almost made me forget about Shuichi. You were so close...  
  
I'm sorry. Sorry for acting so weak.  
  
But maybe, if you just stay with me, I can get used to this feeling in my stomach.  
  
K-san.  
  
To Be Continued  
  
OOC: I'm sorry! I'm leaving you with another cliffhanger and the two of them are still in the bathtub. I'd just like to thank you all for the nice reviews, they really inspired me to write more. ^_^ Oh! In case you want to know when this fic is updated, you can add me to your friends list at LiveJournal... my username is "the_kaizer" and if you don't have LJ, well, I have AIM and my SN is "MissKaizer" or just e-mail me at yuki_obsidian@yahoo.com and I'll just tell you when I update. ^^ More to come soon, I promise! We'll get to some real KxHiro soon enough... 


	4. You Won't Be Alone Anymore

Chapter 4 - You Won't Be Alone Anymore  
  
I must have said the wrong thing.  
  
All I said was that he looked cute when he blushed and now Hiro was back in depressive mode. I just couldn't understand this boy. Fine one minute, not the next. Looks like my plan of trying to distract him from whatever was bothering him went completely down the drain.  
  
"C'mon, time to get out," I told him as I stepped out of the tub and wrapped a towel around my waist before giving him a hand up.  
  
I don't know why, but I was kind of surprised that he took it without resisting. I thought I had made him mad with my comment but apparently not. Hiroshi must have just gotten lost in his own thoughts or something.  
  
"Thanks K-san," he said quietly, as he let go of my hand and wrapped a towel around his waist before heading back towards the main room, leaving a trail of water behind him.  
  
I watched him leave, nothing the way his hips swung slightly as he walked and how crystal drops of water ran down his shoulders and to the tips of his fingers. But even as I watched him go, I couldn't help but feel hurt. I don't know why it seemed to bother me so much. He was just going to the other room, it's not like he was leaving the country...  
  
A sigh escaped my lips as I re-dressed and re-did my ponytail before heading into the other room to see how Hiroshi was making out. I stopped dead in my tracks as soon as I stepped out of the bathroom. Even though the younger teen was still obviously depressed over something, the bath seemed to do wonders for his body. He could actually pass off looking healthy again. His skin was still paler then usual, but only someone close to him would notice that.  
  
At the moment, Hiroshi stood with his back to me, doing up the fly to his form-fitting black jeans, not knowing that I was even in the room. I came up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist, causing him to jump, gasp then turn so that he was facing me. His slate-coloured eyes were wide, but seemed to calm down when he realized it was just me. Hiroshi's eyes narrowed and he punched me lightly before taking a step back, out of my arms.  
  
"What was that for? You scared the hell out of me!" he exclaimed, but a smile adorned his lips so I know he couldn't be -too- mad.  
  
"Just seeing how far I could wrap my arms around your waist," I replied before growing serious. "Hiroshi-kun, I think it would be for the best if you came home with me. You're not well and... just come home with me. You're not well and... just come home with me, alright? I'll fix you something to eat and you'll feel better in no time."  
  
He looked cutely blank for the next few moments, probably trying to decide whether to accept my offer or not. It didn't matter to me which he chose, since I was going to make him come with me either way. I wasn't going to leave him here alone. It's not like I thought he would try and do something stupid, since I know he wasn't the type but like I said before, I was... worried about him.  
  
I thought for sure that my face was going to crack and break when I saw Hiro slowly nod his head, I was smiling that hard.  
  
"Alright!" I exclaimed in English, drawing a confused look from my young charge. I smiled assuringly at him, before placing a hand on his shoulder, and giving him a gentle push towards his closet.  
  
"Pack you things, we'll leave once you're ready," I said, as I watched the red-head stumble forward, then regain his balance as he threw his closet doors open, pull out a duffel bag, then being to fill it up with clothes. As he packed, he slipped his white t-shirt over his head, then shook his hair out, causing a small spray of water to dampen the floor tiles.  
  
I didn't have to wait long for Hiro to finish packing, and tend to his hair. With his duffel bag slung over my shoulder, I lead the way out of his building and to my car. After putting his bag and guitars, acoustic and electric, into the trunk, I unlocked the doors and slid into the driver's seat. The key was in the ignition before I even sat down, and I noticed how Hiro's hand clung tightly to the door handle. I couldn't help but smirk. No one ever liked my driving, saying that it was far too reckless but I really couldn't care... except for this time. I wanted to make Hiro as comfortable as possible while he stayed with me, so I wasn't about to start our time together off with scaring him half to death.  
  
The ride to my place was pretty quiet, with Hiro gazing out the window and I was too busy focusing on my driving to do anything else. We got there in record time though, and before I knew it, I was unlocking my front door and holding it open for the young guitarist.  
  
"Welcome to my home."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~ Please R&R and tell me what you think. I know it's been forever since an update and I'm really sorry but I'm inspired now! :D 


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